deanshuggybear:

fozmeadows:

In which seven cats all discover the same slightly elevated flat thing and claim it as their own while pretending the other six cats don’t exist.

game of thrones

digitaltits:

*white kid from 90’s tv show on bed throwing baseball up in the air and catching it while staring at ceiling*

porrimmaryam:

porrimmaryam:

ive walked on so many pins and needles in my life that i’m used to the pain

you might think this is a deep post but i am a cosplayer

the-little-house-of-morons:

cearalucaya:

aquaticslime:

the-little-house-of-morons:

Ok so this is going to sound stupid as shit to most people but holy shit, when I see children/baby clothes I get so confused.  Beyond reasoning.   I even ask things like “why is doll clothes so expensive holy shit’ or “do children actually exist or is this clothing for gnomes?”  I don’t understand.  The tiny clothes, just… THE TINY CLOTHES.  LOOK.  IT’S A WAISTCOAT FOR A 1 YEAR OLD.  WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY TO ME.  It’S A TINy SuiT FOR BABIES.  WHY.

Don’t try to put logic into this.  I KNOW that formal wear is required for like.. weddings, church n shit.  but LOOK AT THE PHOTo.  LOOK AT THE TinY FULL OUTFIT.  IT”sSO FUNNY tO me.

they’re for lITTLE BABY BUSINESS PEOPLE OMFG

V begged for me to add these. I’m so sorry.

“susan, rechedule my 9 o’clock meeting. I just shit my pants.”

“Johnny, find out what this peek-a-boo asshole wants. He keeps kidnapping my family and giving them back”

“JERRY. I JUST TOOK A NAP. AND I’M STILL TIRED OF YOUR SHIT.”

“LOOK. JOHNSON. PULL THIS OFF, AND YOU’LL BE DRIVING A NEW POWER WHEELS BY NEXT WEEK.”

“Don’t try to bullshit me Johnson, I wasn’t born yesterday. I was born four months ago.”

“Man, you should see me secretary’s rack. Lunch for DAYS.”

“Alright mark, let’s talk numbers. But keep in mine that I can only count to five.”

“TELL IAN I’M NOT SIGNING THE AGREEMENT UNTIL HE GIVES ME MY NOSE BACK”

“SUSAN. I’M MEETING THE CEO AT THE AIRPORT. CALL FOR MY TRICYCLE”

“JOHNSON GET IN HERE. I CAN’T EAT THIS WITHOUT THE PLANE SOUND.”

“WE NEED TO MEET OUR PUKE QUOTA”

“MOMMY ISN’T STRESSED ENOUGH AND WE’RE HITTING OUR DEADLINE”

“AIDEN. AIDEN. LISTEN TO ME. GIVE ME THE JUICE”

“CLARISEE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I NEED THIS PACIFIER”

“DAMMIT JIMMY I NEED THAT PLAYDATE FOR TOMORROW’

I am

legit in fucking

tears

baby business people ahahahahah

bemusedlybespectacled:

neilnevins:

I feel like Maleficent’s curse was such a random and specific circumstance that she just sort of improvised it on the spot in an attempt to be cool. like

‘OH YEAH WELL I HEREBY PUT A CURSE ON YOUR DAUGHTER THAT WHEN SHE TURNS SIXTEEN SHE’S GONNA (ah shit) SHE’S GONNA (uh) PRICK HER FINGER ON A SPINDLE (what the hell was that) AND DIEEEEE 

that’s literally canon in the maleficent movie I am not even joking

pumpkinpegasus:

“abortion is a permanent decision”

so is…having baby…..

xcinnin:

swanqueenandrizzles:

tarclis:

my sisters dad opened the freezer and a blob of ice fell on his foot and hurt him and he was like yelling and hopping and shit and I was like hey maybe you should put some ice on that

my sisters dad

have none of you heard of half siblings or

tennantbutt:

crazy-jensenackles-fangirl:

crazy-jaredpadalecki-fangirl:

I HAVE A MIGHTY NEED

I HAVE SEEN GOD

spork:

when there’s a group of your friends hanging out and youre like trying to join the conversation but dont know how

iswearimnotnaked:

my brother left his drink at taco bell and was like “where’s my baja blast?” and my sister just quietly whispers “in the baja past”